Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
