I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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