why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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