by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize