no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
