she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
