There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
