Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
