I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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