she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
