what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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