I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
