Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
