I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
