I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
