can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help