By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?