Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!