she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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