there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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