just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
