did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
