You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
