Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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