My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
PANTIES FOUND
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
