It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
