i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
