So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
