Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
