Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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