Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
