Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
50% drunk capacity currently
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
