I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
