Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize