He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
