Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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