she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
