Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
