dude i'm inner monologue high
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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