is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
