Cold hands, warm shart.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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