Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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