would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
