WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
