My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize