Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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