But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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