Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
