my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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