my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We need to get me chipped asap
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
