apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
