i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
