No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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