This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
cat food counts as protein by the way
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
