I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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