U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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