well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
